Sweet and Sour in Boston

Abby gave her favorite spots in the previous posts, so now is time for me to give mine. In honor of Bill Simmons and his use of referencing shows and music that he enjoys into his writing, here is the list of JP's favorite places in and around Boston using all his favorite geeky interests.

Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!
Darth Vader: No. *I* am your father.
Luke: No. No. That's not true. That's impossible!
Darth Vader: Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true!
Luke: [anguished] No! No!

This goes to Monica's Trattoria and it's spawn Monica's Restaurant. My favorite restaurant in all of the North End (excluding strictly sub and pizza shops) is actually two separate places that are owned by the same family. I believe the story goes that the original Monica's started on Prince St, then moved to Richmond St and changed the name of the original to Trattoria. Either way, both places offer fantastic Italian dishes with homemade pasta and amazing specials that change daily. The Prince location is more intimate with only a handful of tables, making it the perfect location for any Valentine's, birthdays, anniversary or other special occasions. The menu at the Richmond location is larger and at both locations, most dishes are made with local produce. They even have a shop on Salem St that you can purchase their home made pasta and sauces.

T-Bird: FIRE IT UP! FIRE IT UP!

I'm not sure what this quote from The Crow really ties in with Bonfire, other than it has "fire" in it. Todd English's South American Steakhouse boasts, in my opinion, the best gourmet tacos in town. (Just like pho, I hold a few other food pricing rules, and tacos are one of them. I've been spoiled in that I've had some of the best roadside tacos in Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma and southern California...all them priced in the $0.25-$0.75 range. A taco should consist of two small tortillas filled with steak, shredded beef, or shredded chicken, some cilantro, onion and lime juice condiments and maybe a lime wedge. That's it...ok, I'll allow some salsa too, but if done correctly, you won't need any hot sauce at all, and you'll just hide the great flavors if you do douse too much spiciness into the taco. So I'm going against my own rules in advertising Bonfire's tacos, but trust me, it's well worth the extra costs.) Priced around $12, you get three tacos that have skirt steak, tuna tare tare, halibut, lobster, or pork as the main attraction. The tacos come with a dab of guacamole sauce, that is paste-like in nature, but unbelievably flavorful. But Bonfire has more than just tacos: steaks, kobe burger, local seafood and even paella. This is not the cheapest of restaurants, but they do have some deals, such as $2 beers for the entire baseball season. Normally in Boston, such deals mean plastic cups filled with watered down Miller Lite or Molson, but at Bonfire it's Sol, Dos Equis and other fine south-of-the-border cervezas. That, including the Park Plaza location, makes Bonfire a surprisingly good place to pre-funk before heading out to meet the friends at whatever club/bar they are at.

(Another side note, why they hell do people call it "pre-party"? I'm sure everyone is familiar with this term. Before going out, you get together at some one's house or a cheap dive bar, and get your drink on cheaply before spending $8 per beer later on that night. On the west coast, we called it "pre-funk", but when I moved back to Oklahoma for grad school, everyone I met called it "pre-party". I just thought that was the dumbest thing ever, and the worst part was they looked at me funny whenever I used the correct euphemism of "pre-funk". Let's face it, "pre-funk" is just cooler to say mainly because you can say "funk". In the list of cool-ass words, "funk" is right up there in between "pimp" and "chump", and below "bourgeois". So how surprised I was when, after relocating to the east coast, that people out here used "pre-party" as well? When was it decided that everyone not from the west coast is just ass-backwards? But I digress...)

Bender: You're the kind of guy that visits Jerusalem and doesn't want to see the Sexateria.

Dino's and Ernesto's. Just like Bender of Futurama fame wouldn't miss out on the Sexateria in Jerusalem, neither should you miss out on the these two delicious havens whenever you are in the North End. Dino's has the best subs in town and their subs make John Holmes' famous appendage look like a freaking baby's pinky. At 16 warm and toasty inches, these subs can sometimes be your lunch and dinner. When I first moved to Boston, these subs were priced at $6.25. Now they are $8. Still, this is a bargain like no other. The steak and cheese sub (Steak Italiano) is my favorite, but I've been known on occasion to get the Italian Sub whenever I'm in the mood for a cold sub. Their salads are so large, they would even appease to Jabba the Hut, and you can add grilled chicken to any salad if you are in need of protein. Ernesto's is a pizza joint, nothing more nothing less. Located on Salem St, you can get the largest slice of pizza in town. A quarter of a pizza starting at $3.75 for one-topping. The classics are all there, but the various combinations will have you coming back wanting to try every single last one.

The Harry Potter Guilty Pleasure Award

Yes, I enjoyed the books immensely. I've thought the movies were executed well even when they deviated from the books. These are not the hardest books to read, mainly one-day reads, and J.K. Rowling can deny all she wants about not stealing other people's material (dementors = ring wraiths anybody?) but whenever I don't want to watch TV or play a video game and am too lazy to go work out or play basketball, I'll grab one of these books and just start re-reading. My mind goes blank and I'm sent into a world filled with teenage wizards and witches. (Yes I'm 28 years old...) What does this have to do with food and restaurants? Well, whenever I'm not in the mood to cook or clean up cooking and just want something substantial and completely unhealthy that will fill me up, I head to either Taco Bell or KFC. I probably just got my application for wanting to be a foodie declined by admitting to this fact, but god-damn I love T-Bell and KFC. And talk about a money saver!!! I can get 3 crunchy tacos and a been burrito for under $5 and be all full for the next 4 hours or so. And who can deny the fried goodness of KFC chicken? I mean, the skin alone should be a freaking national delicacy. I think Joey from Friends had the suggestion of making a KFC chicken skin sandwich, and I am completely surprised that I have not tried to make that myself. Also, KFC makes my all-time favorite cole slaw. No cole slaw even comes close to the very wet, probably machine made "veggie" side dish (and I say "veggie" but I have no idea if there ever were vegetables used to make the cole slaw). My favorite comedian has a great, great bit on the famous KFC bowls, and I have to agree with him, those things are disgusting. I mean, I wouldn't refuse to eat any leftovers someone else might have if they couldn't finish their meal...it is KFC after all and I can't pass that up, but putting everything on their menu into a bowl and selling it for $3.99 to all the fat-ass Americans is just plain evil.



Professor Farnsworth: You're not going to believe this, but the secret ingredient Helmut Spargle gave you was water!Yes, ordinary water, laced with only a few spoonfuls of LSD.

Ok, so I've already declared Ernesto's as the best pizza place in Boston...and I could side-track and claim that because this place is in Harvard Sq, it's not technically Boston and it can be included in my list, but that's just cheating. Aw, screw it, it's my blog and my list, so here it goes: Whenever I want pizza, and I don't feel like heading to the North End, I go to Oggi Gourmet in Harvard Sq. I'm not one to eat my crust normally when I eat pizza, but at Oggi Gourmet, you come near my crust at all and I will turn into a crazy Wayne Brady and start wondering outloud "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" The crust at Oggi Gourmet changes daily. Sometimes it's garlic and herb, sometimes it's pink, who cares, it's always damn good. Their pear salad with walnut is fabulous as well. Only thing I wish I could change is the location...I'd rather have it along Tremont St in South End, just so it's closer to me.

(From the same 30% Iron Chef episode of Futurama, there is this quote which has nothing to do with any of this post, but it's damn funny:
Hiroki: Aki, what's Elzar making?
Aki: Well Hiroki-san, when I asked him, he asked what business it was of mine and conjectured that my mother was a prostitute.
Martha Stewart: In the English countryside, many prostitutes decorate their rooms with festive gourds. )

Ok, I'm off to play video games at a friend's place before heading to the Opera House to see Eddie Vedder. I'll get part two later.

So it's a lovely Saturday in Boston. The weather cannot be any better, low 80's with a slight breeze. Abby's parents came into town today to visit with us and see the new condo. They arrived around 10:00AM and I just finished cooking breakfast. Spicy homefries, scrambled eggs with cheese and peppers, and some crispy bacon. A very good hearty breakfast to fill up for a day full of walking.

Once Abby's brother showed up, we headed out on a nice walk. We went down Washington Street, choosing not to jump onto the Crack Taxi (Silver Line) pointing out all the great restaurants, bars and shops that are in our neighborhood to Abby's family. Her brother will actually be moving into the neighborhood in September and he's excited about being in the city.

After walking from our condo all the way through Chinatown, Downtown Crossing and finally getting to Faneuil Hall, we were all ready for a nice tasty beverage. We ducked down the stairs of Black Horse Tavern, a nice little bar in the heart of Faneuil Hall that is normally empty of tourists. Well, even with the normal urine smell and sticky floors, there were a handful of tourists having lunch. Very strange...this is not the type of place I would find myself into if I was walking around Boston for the first time. I mean, North End is right there with all the great restaurants. But, then again, I suggested this place for us knowing that the beers are nice and cold and we could have a conversation. We didn't linger too long, after a couple of Black and Tans we headed out and towards the North End. Abby's brother was hungry for a snack, and I knew the best place for it: Ernesto's.

Ernesto's, to me, is the best pizza joint in all of Boston. People will scream about Upper Crust and Bertuccis, but none of them compare to the large slices of Ernesto's. For anyone wanting to come here, remember that a slice of pizza is 1/4th of a whole pizza. It's sliced down the middle and is essentially two huge slices. Starting at $3.50 for a one topping pizza, it might be one of the best steals in Boston. Abby and I split a slice, as did her parents. Her brother, who was really hungry, got one to himself. I got the sausage and pepperoni and it was toasty and smoking hot out of the oven with just the right about of grease on top. Absolutely fabulous!

While we were finishing our pizza break, Abby's cousin Annie showed up to say hi. We walked down Salem to see the Old North Church and then cut across to get to Hanover St, which was partially shut down for the St. Josephs' Festival. There were a lot of little booths of food and games. I would have snacked there if I had known about this, but I think we made the right choice with Ernesto's. After checking out the festival, we headed out of North End towards the Financial District for another drink. We make a stop to The Times bar, which has a great outdoor patio. This is a relatively new bar to me, only discovered a couple of months ago. I gotta say...I like it. While we were sitting down and telling Abby's parents that we like this bar, they ask us "Are there any bars in this town you don't like?" Which is a pretty valid question, considering all day we were pointing out all our favorite watering holes and restaurants as we walked through the city. (This is a whole other blog topic, one that will come soon in a few days. A list of our favorites and least favorite places throughout Boston.)

Finally, we walked through the financial district, through downtown crossing and then into the Commons. After a quick stroll through the park, we headed to our dinner spot: Intermission Tavern.

Located on Tremont Street, opposite of the 7-11, lies Intermission Tavern. A bar that has great bartenders and waitstaff and surprisingly really, really good bar food. I mean, this is not a bar trying to make ultra-high end bar food, with saffron and foie gras burgers...no this is just a bar that takes bar food and does it really, really well. Juicy thick burgers, homemade potato chips, and tasty mac and cheese. Nothing pretentious at all. We start by ordering a drink that I'd like to take credit for inventing a couple of years ago at the Intermission Tavern, but I know I didn't. They have a few infused vodkas behind the bar, normally a pineapple, strawberry and kiwi, and mango, just to name a few. Today I got the pineapple vodka with orange juice and cranberry juice. Yes I know this is an already known drink for generations, but I still like to think I invented it with the infused vodkas. For dinner, Abby and her mom got burgers, and all the men got the Guinness battered fish and chips. I gotta say, I was slightly disappointed with the fish and chips. It was cooked perfectly, with the fish flaking at the touch, but the batter and the fish were a little bland. Maybe the seasonings were just forgotten during the battering process...I don't know. The fries were not greasy at all and very crispy. Abby got the potato chips with her burger and they were cooked perfectly. However, I remember the Intermission putting a ranch powder all over the chips, but not today. We have noticed that in the past, it all depends on who's cooking in the slightly open kitchen. We didn't recognize the crew working inside the hot kitchen today, so maybe that lead to the slight imperfections in our meal. Even so, we'll still come back and enjoy the infused vodkas and eat the good food.

I give Intermission Tavern a 4 out of 5.